In this installment of Honor a Nurse, we honor not one, but three registered nurses who all hail from the same family. By Guest Contributor Laura Herman, Dementia and Eldercare Professional.
 

The Gramcko family has learned a lot over the last few decades about nursing, about taking care of others, and about taking care of themselves in the process. I sat down to listen as they shared their stories and wisdom.

 

Featuring three RNs, the Gramcko family has a combined ninety-four years of nursing experience. Shortly after Jackie Gramcko (then Jackie Beam) graduated from nursing school in 1971 she worked in the hospital’s very first intensive care unit (ICU).  “The ICU’s computer was the size of an entire room,” she recalls. “The equipment was very different then. We only had a few monitors, and we had to share them with the cardiac care unit. It wasn’t like today, where every bed has its own monitors.” 

 

Jackie spent her career in the hospital, and though she occasionally spent time in other departments, she always came home to critical care nursing. “The work could be tense, but I enjoyed having to use my brain. I was always learning new skills and techniques. Even the doctors treated us with respect in the ICU. They knew that we knew our stuff, and that felt good.”

 

It was at work that Jackie met and fell in love with Mark Gramcko. Mark was one of the few male nurses around when he graduated from nursing school in 1979. Mark had been recruited into a role as an orderly at a nursing home and found the job to be surprisingly satisfying. “It was easy,” Mark recalls. “It was pleasant. I enjoyed the teamwork and cooperation. I loved getting paid just for being nice to people.” 

 

Mark also enjoyed pursuing the opportunities for advancement that seemed to be around every corner in the nursing world, and eventually he had completed his education as a registered nurse. 

 

Because male nurses were so few and far between, many of Mark’s patients assumed he was on his way to becoming a doctor. And it wasn’t only his patients. In 1985, their daughter Casey told her kindergarten class that her dad was a nurse. “Boys aren’t nurses,” the teacher corrected her gently. “Boys are doctors. Your dad’s a doctor.”

 

Twenty years later, in 2005, Casey Souza joined her parents among the ranks of registered nurses, celebrating her own graduation from nursing school. 

 

All three Gramcko nurses spent their careers in hospitals, primarily in critical care settings, where patients’ severe health needs require intensive attention, specialized equipment, and highly skilled care. All enjoyed the mentally stimulating work, the opportunities for continuous growth and learning, and the fact that every day held something new – it never grew monotonous. However, more than that, each of the Gramckos agree that the best part of nursing was the other nurses. 

 

“Nurses are just really special people,” Jackie reflects. “They all seem to understand the importance of teamwork. They’re full of encouragement and good spirits.”

 

Casey agrees. “They tend to be honest, kind, trustworthy…just generally good people. I don’t think you find that in any random sample of society.”

 

However, some of these very characteristics can actually predispose nurses to a higher risk of burnout when they push themselves beyond their capacity in order to meet the sometimes impossibly high demands of the job. 

 

“Nurses are givers,” Jackie explains. “They’ll pick up shifts even when they’re too exhausted because they know their patients and co-workers will be in trouble if they don’t. The hospital just runs short-staffed if no one’s there.”

 

“That was disappointing for me to learn,” Mark frowns. “Humanity is out of hospital care. Now they’re run by bean counters as a money-making operation. When I first started, the hospital management would take care of its staff. If you needed healthcare the hospital would provide it.” 

 

“It feels more adversarial now,” Jackie agrees. “There are nursing unions and demands and negotiations…It would be hard to start now in this environment.”

 

“It makes caring for yourself all the more important now,” Mark points out and the women voice their agreement emphatically. 

 

“I struggled with taking care of myself,” Jackie admits. “I would put everyone else’s needs first—my family, my patients, my coworkers—there wasn’t much left over for myself. I think my generation was very influenced by our parents’ expectations. Women were supposed to take care of everyone around them without advocating for themselves or complaining. But you can’t be the strength of the family if you feel broken.”

 

“That makes sense,” nods Mark. “I didn’t really find it that hard to take care of myself first. Like how a fireman can’t go rushing into a burning building. He won’t be able to help anyone if he gets hurt. I recognized that being ‘selfish’ was not only okay—it was necessary.”

 

“Above all else,” Casey adds, “you have to protect your body. Use your ergonomics, use your equipment, and don’t put yourself at risk for injuries. It’s hard to take care of yourself when you’re constantly hurting.”

 

Mark agrees. “I’ve known many, many people who have had life-changing injuries. I made sure to insist on doing things safely every time. I wouldn’t let patients grab my neck to stand up. I would insist on having the proper number of people, and the right equipment. If I couldn’t do something safely I didn’t do it until I could.” 

 

“Absolutely!” emphasizes Jackie. “New nurses are often young and vibrant and think they can’t be damaged. They don’t realize how easy it is to be seriously and permanently injured.”

 

“The other thing I’d advise people considering a career in nursing is to find a position with good job satisfaction,” Casey notes. “You won’t last long if you don’t enjoy what you’re doing. But there are a million types of nursing jobs out there. Get some exposure and experience in the field so you know what you’re getting into.”

 

Her parents concur. “My experience as an orderly put me lightyears ahead of the other nursing students in my class,” recalls Mark. 

 

“I wish I had had hospital experience prior to nursing school,” Jackie remarks. “Starting out as a nurse’s aide is a great idea.”

 

“When I was in nursing school,” Casey recollects, “they said the average time for nurses to burn out was five years… now it’s closer to two years. I appreciate how much potential for satisfaction my job offers. I get to connect with others, enjoy meaningful work and relationships, increase my knowledge, and master new skills….” Thoughtfully, she continues, “I think it’s important to find meaningful connections and grounding interactions at work – but also outside of work. You need time off to find ways to live the life you want. A life that will fulfill and recharge you.”

​

#honoranurse #accreditationmatters #elderlycare #careformom #carefordad #homecare #homehealthcare #findhomehealthcare

​

As the daughter of two registered nurses (who happen to be featured in this story), Laura Herman has lived around nurses her whole life. Rather than follow her family footsteps directly into nursing, Laura has worked “nurse adjacent” throughout her career as a Certified Nursing Assistant and dementia care coordinator. Now a dementia care writer and coach, Laura loves helping family caregivers understand their loved ones’ behavior and helping care partners feel and function at their best. Learn about her dementia support services and more read about Appreciating Behavioral Communication in her blog, ABC Dementia.